Two years ago, the Harlem native, A$AP Rocky, gave us Long. Live. Asap. Songs like "Goldie" and "F**king Problems showcased Rocky's ability to be a mainstream success, southern influence and his witty style/knowledge of fashion. Fast foward to today. The 26 year old, Rick-Raf Simons bandit, A$AP Rocky presents the world, with his long awaited sophmore album At. Long. Last. A$AP. Rocky has stated that he isn't trying to prove or impress anyone with (ALLA). He says "Im only going to give art in the way I believe it should be given (in the sway interview above)."

Rocky has developed as a lyricist and shows range throughout the entire album. (ALLA) opens up with "Holy Ghost" featuring Joe Fox (the next breakout artist mark my words) which sets a mellow tone right away. Now lets finesse over to "Fine Whine" featuring Joe Fox, Future and M.I.A. Sonically speaking, this song resonates to a long, winded journey through the southern coast of Africa. Rocky's deep vocals dissolves into a cocktail, as Future's melodies mesh with M.I.A raspy, echoic voice. The drums bang hard harder than those in the Congo, which adds a nice flare to your adventurous hikes through Borneo, or Fryman Canyon Trails on a warm sunny day.

After transitioning from your long hike, you get home and decide you want to try L$D with friends. Five hours later you're in a trance. You "started in Hollywood, dreaming of sharing words, held this feeling for way to long, said I really wanna let it go." In the midst of those actions, your friends are trying to save you from getting pneumonia. Pause. Confusedy, you wake up the next morning wrapped in a warm, damp towel. Your friends are surrounded by you like the investigators from CSIand they want answers. "So what the fuck were you doing last night?" says your friend. You were dancing in the damn hail storm." Your response: Well, Flacko was speaking to me. He took me on a psychodelic journey. Now if you will excuse me, I have to go jump off the roof, into the pool, before the beat drops for JD and Lord Pretty Flacko Jodye part 2.

While you were in mid air, your eyes turned a yellow-greenish color (similar to Emily Rose from the Exorcist) as JD fades in with suspense. The party goers on ground level, are envisioning your death, but all you see is stars, molly, champagne, broken guitars, big boobs, blessed hand emojis, Kim Kardashians ass and Kanye's Jukebox verse. Then all of a sudden.."SPLASH" the beat finally drops for Lord Pretty Flacko part 2. An elephant is standing next to the pool, because this is the Rocky that everyone loves (heavy emphasis on everyone). After swimming back up to surface level, you look around and see everyone going ape shit over your stunt. Bari gives you the OG head nod from the BBQ grill, as Ian Connor pushes two bad chicks in the water with you. The party is officially lit to the maximum at this point.

Take a second to digest this.. At this point, everything appears to be quite amazing. Hence the last paragraph. However, something went extremely wrong. You belly flopped from the top of a three story estate. The ice has been broken for the party, but your body feels like 1000 watts of electricity and outside linebackers drills. It was all fun and games until you started hallucinating again from the L$D. The trip isn't over yet. Your cerebral is screaming "Electric Body." The beat drops again. Now more people are jumping in the pool left, right and above your head. You start to freak out a bit, but the two girls from the previous paragraph swims over to comfort you. Rocky is having fun now and Schoolboy Q just arrived. The waves from the jumping and splashing correlates to the new level of the party.

We all know, what goes up, must come down. It's around 7:30pm (PST) and the breeze is starting to kick in. Everyone has transitioned from the pool, to the hot tub on the "Pharsyde" of the terrace. Yeah...sounds a little weird but that's okay.  The vibes are Merlot-schmoozy and Joe Fox has finally become aquainted with everyone at the party. He put in for the alcohol, so you know he's spending the night obviously. The heat from the hot tub is feeling a little overbearing. So everyone wrapped up and marched toward the house. Whomever was first to open the door experienced what volcano lava truly feels like. Mind you, there's levels to parties. The door was opened to M's.. Nothing was the same before that moment and "Nothing Happened" after the door was closed. The real listeners know what happened beyond that heavy door.

We're officially at the peak of the party. Majority of the important "who's who" people have called it quits for the night. Its coming up on 5:00am (PST) and your friends/flings have to catch their flights "Back Home" to NYC, Paris, London and Japan. The last five people standing around chit-chatting in the kitchen are like family. These are the moments that we all live for. Rest in peace Asap Yams.

Now if you have made it this far through the article, you're probably wondering what in the hell is going on in this writer's head. Where is he going with this? Is he on drugs? Is this actually an album review? Why did I read this craziness? Do you realize that you're actually thinking about these questions? You're completely mind-fucked, because I just talked about you in third person. But I'm not suppose to use "I" so I'm sorry. But to answer your questions, yes, this was a REAL ALBUM REVIEW and by far one of the best of all time. Welcome to Tastemaker Collective Media. Now continue reading.


Rating:  9/10

Essential Tracks:  Fine Whine, L$D, JD, Lord Pretty Flacko Jodye 2, Electric Body, Pharsyde, M's, Back Home